Have a little faith...

It's funny how faith can come and go, f a d i n g with time and refreshing right when you least expect it.

Sometimes we give up right before the turn of success. But by the time we realize it, our choices let us know that it's too late. But if we hold on for too long we lose so much time, and time is something you can't ever regain. Fate doesn't care, fate only knows what's ahead.

This life, the one we live out, the one that we hold in our hands, constantly blaming others for our misfortunes, unhappiness, and disappointments...our happiness is only within ourselves and what we make of it.
It's time to take control of what's rightfully yours. Your life, and what you really want. Fate doesn't always give you what you want right away, fate gives you what you deserve and what's best for you.

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If I can make the right choices, or trust in my fate to carry me into what I believe to be happiness then I'll go willingly, with my eyes closed. I'll give you my trust and with no other choice give you complete control. I wont be the one to break me, it will just have been the choice to give you the power to do so.


So here I am, blindfolded and scared, but willing.

Seems that faith has found me again.

mexican thoughts

It's funny how being in Mexico changes my whole state of mind. Not only am I thinking, observing, and debating in my head, but it's half in spanish. It's funny to catch myself translating thoughts from time to time that I have at rare moments...back into English...never experienced that.

If you haven't figured it out yet...I am in Mexico City. I arrived this past Saturday the 5th and will arrive back to NYC on the 25th.

I have so many things I'd like to type.
When I arrived the family I'm staying with welcomed me. My roommate Marissa wasn't arriving till later that evening. So I got to struggle with the limited spanish vocab. It was fun though. The husband speaks some english but the wife doesn't. There's 2 kids, they are about 27 and 29, so I guess not really kids. but they speak english well enough to understand us.

I have done so much so far, and I am only just finishing the first week here. I'm exhausted and my head hurts. But honestly this country is incredible! The history and culture doesn't even compare to the US.
THere's so much to see and so much to learn.
You were right, this is a life changing experience.

So much that I am at a loss for words.
Until later.
adios

resolutions minus the New Year

So I know everyone's putting together New Year's resolutions by this time if they haven't already like...working out more, eating right, getting back in touch with God...etc. But I have been doing a lot of thinking of what I want to change within myself. I've done a lot of reflecting on this past years, and even further back. I've lived my changes and seen some myself not only from 2007 but in general.

I've decided not to make any 'New Year's resolutions', resolutions yes, but anything pertaining to the 'New Year' isn't in my book.
If anyone, including myself were going to be serious about changes they want to make or things they want to do differently, it shouldn't be based on the turn of a new year, it should be based on our own motivation to change. There's always things to improve in ourselves and our lives, so why do we wait for the excuse? Why can't we just wake up, and decide to make the changes needed?
Sure, everyone's made mistakes over time, but what we learn from that we implement it right away, or we should.
New Year is just an excuse. If you want things done differently in your life, you have the control and you make the choice of when and how to do it.
Stop waiting on the time and world, because the world and time wait for no one.

Speaking of New Years...let's talk about the night's events...
All I can say first of all is...Steph...if you are reading this...[which you probably aren't] thanks for showing up, because it would have been totally different without you...even if you didn't stay...WACK...but still love you girl
Even though things didn't work out as planned, it really wasn't a big deal. I'm not going to go into details, because honestly, it's not the serious.

I've made the choice of which side I'm on.

Sean if you're reading this [which you might be...] I wanted to say I appreciate the way you handled the situation on New Years. It means a lot that you care about me and how I feel at all times. I know I already told you this, but I want everyone to know that I firmly believe you are a good man, and if I'm wrong, then I will find out on my own. It's a risk I think you are worth, so I'm walking into this and standing behind you and beside you because for once I'm going to listen to something else, instead of my head...just remember I'm by your side.

It seems like everyone always has something to say, whether it is a warning or just maybe misery loves company either way, it's nobodies business but ours. Everyone needs to realize that drama isn't my style, which is why you wont catch me making scenes anymore. No, that's not a resolution, it's just a mature decision I've laid upon myself to be grown about situations.

I'm sorry for any feelings that got hurt on New Year's.

Other than that, I hope everyone can live learn and love in 2008.