Merry Christmas [letter]

Merry Christmas to everyone! [or happy holidays, whichever you prefer]
As we all know...this is my favorite time of year, so of course this is the best time to reach me...because it's the best mood I'm going to be in ever...i know...some might think that is pretty sad.
This is my 'would-be' christmas letter that I would send out if I had an abundant amount of addresses and whatnot.

This past year, 2007 has been pretty crazy.
As far as school, I'm still at Fashion Institute of Technology. I'm still going strong, just finished my 5th semester [beginning my 3rd year as a Junior]. This past May I graduated with my Associates degree in Fashion Merchandising and Management. And I'm already ahead of the game on my Bachelor degree for Advertising and Marketing Communications. Rounding out my GPA to a 3.1 when I finished this semester. I was also informed I had been accepted into an internship I applied for that takes place in London, England for a month this summer. I'm pretty excited about that [As well as my brother].
This summer I found a secret passion which has brought out my domestic side [or goddess-as my mom would say]. After working as a camp counselor my love for children has grown, and the fire still burns as I've been able to celebrate a new little cousin that was just born into the family [Ty!] And even better there are 2 more on the way.
With gains comes the greatest loss, losing my Grandmother. As suddenly as she passed away, it was extremely hard on everyone. She was loved and is missed dearly. Thanks to everyone who extended their support in our time of need.
Also my sister was very sick right before my Grandmother passed away. It was hard but she is recovering. She had a serious infection and was hospitalized for weeks. She lives at home with my parents now. It's been quite a while since we've all been under the same roof like that.
This is the l o n g e s t amount of time I have been at home in my actual house, staying in my own bed since I originally left for school back in 2005. It's been a big adjustment and hard to get used to.
I'm spending the New Years with Sean and some friends in NYC. I'm looking forward to getting back up there and partying the end of the year out. That will also be my first time spending New Years in NYC.
My biggest preparation at this point is my trip to Mexico City. My parents have supplied me a map, a phrase book [which by the way has a whole section on drugs, sex, pickup lines, and more REAL fun stuff] and money. I leave on Jan. 5th and will return to school [nyc] on the 25th. I've never flown internationally, or been in a foreign country without my family. I'm a little scared but more excited. There are 11 girls going on the trip and one wacky teacher, she is fun.
Since I've been home I've grown to appreciate my friends who have grown with school, and recognized those who haven't changed much at all.
I can't wait to go to Mexico, and then I can't wait to get back to NYC. This break has been way too long already. I love my family but I miss my life, friends and arrangements in NY.

I guess this year has been great. It's been hard and emotional. But most of all fun and memorable.

I'm still in love with life, the city, and all of the above.

I hope everyone found happiness and peace this holidays season and that they find and get everything they want in the new year.

Love Love Love xxx

Maggie

Truth hurts

The truth is...
I fell in love, and I was way in over my head.
It's pretty sad that someone that I care about so much is so selfish that all they can think about is themselves even though they admit and realize their selfishness. If you realize it, then you're only using it as an excuse, because if you wanted to better yourself, you would work towards a positive outcome of your selfishness knowingly.
I always say that things will ALWAYS work out in the end, and they do, for the better. I can only do so much, when it comes to relationships, things can only work out if each person involved wants it to work out. If there is any doubt, it'll show. It always does.
All I asked for was time, which obviously was too much, and if that was the case from the start then you should have just let me know. I did everything and gave everything emotionally, support, and all my feelings, I've run out of things to give, now all I can offer is my friendship, and hope that you can also learn from this. If not, then I'm sorry for you, because I'd hope the selfishness wont get in the way of what could be your greatest happiness in life.

I can't blame anyone but myself for setting myself up for disappointment once again. I let my guard down way to fast, and fell to quick. It's okay though, everything is a lesson learned.
I took a risk and a big chance without second thoughts or even looking back. I'd do it again too, just so I could say that I did it, and it was fun while it lasted but just wasn't right for me.


Sometimes I wish I had never fallen in love ever. But then again, it's the best feeling in the world.
It just sucks to know I could be so free of pain, but then what's a life without love?
I do think it's the saddest thing when I hear someone who has never been in love. Once you've fallen in love at least once in your life, it's hard not to get addicted to want to fall in love again, just so you can get that feeling again...

December me

Well, well, well...
This has certainly been a busy week for many reasons.
At work a partner got in a almost physical fight with 2 female customers...it was crazy. Twilight moment...everything just stopped, everyone just stared...but whatever that's not the point, the point is I would like to clarify my name real quick...
This event happened at about 3:15 pm I was scheduled to get off work at 3:30pm. Never the less while everything was going down I was on bar, I stayed in my position the whole time. My shift even thanked me for being one of the only partners to stay on the floor. I asked if he needed me to stay later, he said no, and so I left.
It's funny because my manager asked if it was true that I clocked out and left early without telling anyone on the day everything happened. Of course people are still talking about it and blah blah blah. Anyways I said of course not, I would never do anything like that, and I told him how the shift thanked me and everything. [Because half the people on the floor left and disappeared] He said I thought so, because that wasn't like me to just up and leave. "That's not my Maggie"- of course its not. No names were given. BUt for the record from other people I have been told that it was the shift trying to cover his ass saying I left. WTF. Are you being serious...so anyways I see how it is. It's so sad when you can't trust people and their mouths in your own working environment. There is so much drama at my job, but I think it's anywhere you go, just depends on how much you left yourself get dragged into it. So I'm going on strike there [friendship-wise]. I go to work to work, and then I bounce. It's funny because people talk, and vent about other people in front of me, I hear everything, the gossip, the hate, everything. I just sit there, listen, keep my mouth shut and observe.
The time clock shows i didn't clock out early, so the proof is there...Oh he is so lucky my manager asked me not to talk to him about it...it's okay, you get the fake smile from now on buddy. People want to try to set me up...yeah right, please, you don't even know...I'm so good at what I do, and you can't catch m e making mistakes like that, especially stupid ones.
I love working at my job, don't get me wrong, it's just that I have just seen out of this past week how a lot of people really feel and how they really are. It's a shame. People are sad...it's so pitiful.

I got to hang out at VIBE yesterday until I went to work and got my hair braided by my friend Christina. Got to see all my interns, I still love it there. Lumbardh even stopped by after he got off when I was working! awww Lumbardh! haha

After I got off work Sean and I went to see the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. I saw my most favorite part, the snowflake light show on Saks Fifth Ave building to Carol of the Bells. Watched it twice. It was amazing as usual.

The christmas tree looks spectacular. [Thank you Sean for coming with me!]
But before that we were walking past the Garden, and this guy looked in bad shape. He had knocked over a trash can and just looked really bad. He didn't look homeless, he looked like a regular old guy. So we helped him into a cab, I hope he got home okay. He said he was a doctor and that he went for a drink and someone put something in his drink. He knew what was going on, because he wanted to go home, but he couldn't walk or stand by himself at that point. It's also sad how no one wanted to help him. This 40 year old looking white male was struggling to hard. So we helped him and I felt really good that we did. [At one point I was like I think people might think we are about to rob him, at least that's what their facial expressions looked like at one point when we told him to hold onto the wall and lean up against it while Sean called a cab and I held him up]. Don't worry people, we are the good kind of minorities. [Previously my roommate said I looked like a 'hoodlum'- funny at first but in my opinion somewhat ignorant.]

I made Sean a 'party' cake because it's his bday today! SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN. It was very tasty too. Chocolate and chocolate.

Oh and let me just add...so many projects and etc for the next 2 weeks.

almost...so close

well...
looks like my weeks in nyc are coming to an end quicker than I can realize. Before I know it school will be over, I'll be through with working [temporarily], and I'll be on my way back to VA...
How sad that is...
Then before I can breathe I'll be on my way to Mexico for Jan!
A whole month +! Almost 2 months.
I can't believe it, I'm sad.
Well I mean I'm glad classes are about done, but I hate to leave the city and anything worthwhile in it that I care about...
I just don't want to be forgotten about because I would never forget anything important in it to me.
Trying not to think about things coming to an end...
I guess I'll just go with the flow of things, and see how it all ends up...

Thanksgiving

Well, now that the fattest day of the year is gone we can all look forward to the fattest time of year...
I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving this past week. Mine was filled with family[glad to see everyone that could make it, Mary I know everything will be fine with you and the baby, sorry you couldn't be there, and Grandma, we all love and miss you!] and good food [mommy and daddy, it was all so tasty!-def felt good to be home].

Who did I see over my short period of being at home in NoVA...
Well first off Sean helped me catch the train at 4:40am on Wednesday so that I could make it in time for my grandma's funeral mass in NoVA. So neither the homeless or the pigeons got me, I was seeing headlines...anyways caught the train, figured the metro out. Can I just say that the DC metro is stupid. It gives me anxiety to have to keep my metrocard so I can leave! NYC is better. PERIOD. At least when it comes to that business...
Uncle Jim picked me up.
Funeral mass was...emotional, beautiful, spiritual, and everything I wanted it to be. I'm glad I was there.
I went to visit my 'black' family later that night in Centrville. That was fun, interoggated Nicole's new little guy friend...who let me tell you...she is 14! and he is 17!...mmhmm that's what I said...anyways though.
Then later I went to the Sullivan's abode. Bonded with the family...and I am looking forward to possible wood chopping and Christmas cookie making closer to Christmas...YES! But we shall see...
Thanksgiving was nice, the fam came over to my house this time.
Gill came over and we watched 28 Days Later, and 28 Weeks Later with Beccy.
Talladega Nights-2 days in a row is just a little over doing it...
Ate some leftover cake the next day, almost died from that...Yeah, never again.
Therefore anything to be done Friday Night was a wrap.
I did however manage to see Enchanted before I got food poisoning. That right there...is Mandy's life, only she would never decide to want to leave her happy fairytale life. It was funny, but you wont be missing anything is you don't pay the ridiculous movie prices to see it. Hmm...I'm thinking its worth a matinée, but do expect little kids everywhere! No escape. But it was fun to hang out with my cousins from Minnesota.
Oh and that WAS Black Friday btw. I did not step foot in a mall, but I did go to Reston Town Center briefly.
Got back on the bus to NYC Sat morning thanks to my parents...at 7:45 am. Even with extra food from raiding the pantry.
Now that I'm back in the city...Well this weekend was fun, I hung out with Stephs, Sean, Justin, Marielle, Lauren, and my Adrianne and TIMMY! Had some drinks, it was nice. Haven't felt like that in a while...
Now the rush begins of where I freak out because I have projects and finals and tests to study for. With only 3 more weeks left...yeah...its going to get crazy so for anyone who interacts with me between now and Dec 10th, I would like to apologize for any future crankiness you might experience.
Ok I am procrastinating on work I need to get done by writing this blog. So look forward to Holiday pics soon in NYC! whoohoo!

Spread the Cheer!
xxoxoo
Oh and this doesn't do justice, but I LOVE ANNA'S EYES! hahaha

'Tis the Season

only 4 more weeks of school left until I am finished with my 5th semester of school. [Thank you Lord]

today is Adrianne and Timmy's 1 year anniversary, [go you for this far!]

Friday- Sean took me to see the Body Exhibit down at South Street Seaport. It was really nice and fun, since it was his idea and I have been wanting to go. Really touching and amazing. I recommend everyone to see it.

A moment of prayer for a guy who lost his leg as well as the driver who innocently didn't see him run out into the middle of the street...crazy on both ends, but yeah.

Trees are starting to light up all around the city. My roommate is also a holiday fanatic[lucky for her]. We put up some lights around the room last week, so they've been on pretty much since then. We've made snow flakes [it snowed a bit today this morning] and they are on our windows. And my xmas play-list has been playing almost what seems like nonstop. It's a wonderful feeling, this holiday season...it just makes me feel so warm and nice inside.

With everything else set aside, the holiday season makes me miss a lot of things, memories, friends, family, even old loves. I know I've vowed to never say that, but who am I kidding. There's something about the season that makes you want to be with someone and everything be perfect surrounded by pretty lights, drinking hot chocolate, staring at the huge Christmas tree, or a fire burning and watching people ice skate. And when you're alone and have no one special during the season, it just sucks really. Thanks to family and friends though, I guess that's what they are there for, no matter what, you're never really alone.

I just love this season, from Thanksgiving all the way until Valentine's Day. It's just my favorite part of the year emotionally and mentally. Whether I have someone special or not, it's still my most favorite time of year. [Although it wont be the same this year without Grandma]

I can't wait to get home and see some people I haven't seen in so long. I'll be making some road trips and short trips, but either way, I'm going to make the best of it.

Oh and FYI Mexico is looking good still...definitely will keep that updated.

I think Starbucks is making me fat. I need to start watching what I eat, it's so easy to fall behind, plus I am going to get back in the gym! Swear on it. Oh and Andy said he was going to start the food journal again today, so that should be up and running again.

Today I stopped into my old Creative Writing Prof. office and gave him a 'Pass the Cheer' coupon for a buy on get on free drink from Starbucks. My good deed for the day. He's one of my favorite prof. He's sort of awkward and unusual, in a cool, sincere way though, not weird or creepy, just very smart and different. Shout out to Prof. Hyde! Wished him a happy holiday and all that, he has always helped me out, from letters of recommendation to anything I ask really...thanks again!

My life is like a fight right now and I'm tired of fighting.
This is exactly what I meant and how I feel right now...am I in the midst of being pulled down? hmm...time to reevaluate the situations and see what's worth what and what's not.

I love the love.

OverDose

I couldn't reach the nipple, but eh you get the point. Fun times this weekend. Trying to clear my head and release my mind. Read on for more...

Well, I'm sorry it has been a while...but as many of you know...my amazing grandmother has passed away, and that has taken a toll on my emotional side. [Love and miss you g*ma, R.i.P]
These past few days/weeks have been incredibly busy so here is another random thought entry as it comes...been home a lot, got to see the family so that was good. Miss everyone, glad everyone made it out to VA. Wont be long before we get together again so...until then...

work is great, still having a great time with all the partners there, no problems or issues. Fun team and fun environment. I guess I've been trying to keep myself busy so I can keep my head full in order to remain sane, some people deal with things differently. Mine is to make myself so incredibly busy and tired that I have little time to think about the problems or issues at hand.

school has been a race so far. Everything is flying by so fast. Midterms are pretty much over. Only about 4 classes left, then that's it. Call it a semester and we're done. I'm getting nervous about a lot of things, including group projects that are being poorly communicated and ran [believe me I tried to take charge but the reigns were taken from me, which is fine as long as the leader can handle the heat] Also there are rumors going around that the Mexico trip isn't confirmed yet, and if I don't go, I will be pissed, because here's the thing...well basically...it's going to mess a lot of things up for my schedule and plan guideline-wise...which I should be used to and not be surprised. Damn, please please please don't let me down FIT, if there is one time you DON'T let me down...please let is be for my study abroad plans...

Luckily I have been able to enjoy some personal time, from what is left after school and work with my friends. Sean has been really supportive, well all my friends have been, but yeah. This past weekend my mom's friend's daughter came to hang out in the city [chels]. So I got the girls together, and we all went out to Avalon to dance, but jeez, it feels weird to go out because I hardly go out to clubs like that as it is anymore...it was cute though because being from VA [Chelsea] she is used to things closing down around 2am, but nope, when we party here, we make it a long night. But our out of town friends faded fast. It's okay though, still had fun.

Hung out with my Steph, John, Chels, and Sean all night Sat, after I showed Chels around the city, we went to Vickies, A&F, and ice skating in Bryant Park. Then there was a lot of crap witht he security guards with sign ins and overnights and blah blah blah. Anyways everything worked out ok in the end. So whatever. But umm what else, Oh I did get to see my mommy and so that was fun, thanks for the food ma.

It was cool because all of my friends I hung out with this weekend had never met, so I was a little nervous getting them all together, but I'm just glad everyone had fun and got along. Yay!

I'm dead tired though, finishing/procrastinating homework due tomorrow, less than 4 hours of sleep, going to see Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married AGAIN [only because it was THAT good] with Smiley [ new fun friend! :-)] And cleaning the room, because it's trashed. I had fun but I never want that many people in my room again...haha or at least have them all be my responsibility. Fun though.

Hope everyone else had a fun weekend.

I'm pooped.

Halloween 2007

So my Halloween involved working during the day, but then doing my favorite part, which is the HUGE parade that goes through the streets. Some people don't know this but Halloween is HUGE here in NYC. I mean seriously, think half naked people including females AND males.
Well the Sunday before I went Club Pacha for a Halloween bash, it was fun. Here are some pics from there:
Here I am with a bloody surgeon, and the girls we went to the club with.



After work I had this headache that I













thought was going to make me roll up and die, but then I sucked it up thanks to Ibprofin. Then I took a nap woke up, got dressed, and hit the streets with Marielle and Manny's entourage. The best costume I loved was by far a guy from FIT dressed as Britney Spears from the VMA's. Unfortunately I didn't get a pic, but the image will remain in my head forever. It was perfectly planned out. A wig, sparkly black bra and boy shorts, and the muffin tops to go along with it. Anyways I decided to go traditional this year with the nurse outfit. This wasn't the best Halloween, didn't get to spend it with MY entourage but oh well. Still had fun turning heads. Here are some of the pics:

• These were my bodyguards for the night, David and Mike. They made me laugh all night long... So glad they were there, it was fun!
• Then we got some really dressed up ADULTS, that's why I love this, because there are like no kids out here, haha It's crazy, grown people acting wild and crazy. So FUN!
  

Storm Troopers, lots of craziness at the parade...

















Aww I love couple costumes! So adorable!

















Heroes!





Even McDonald's Employees got dressed up, that was fun!

stress*flow

There are so many things going on in my head right now, I feel like it might explode...

• I am having a family emergency, my grandma is not doing too well...this is the first time someone I consider myself to be very close with is close to being lost...I've never done this before, how does this go?? I am okay until I have to openly deal with it by talking out loud about it, so I have no idea what it will be like when I see her...I'm scared, I don't want to go, but I do...I almost feel like I'm in denial because I just am not completely accepting of the fact that she isn't doing too well. I just wrote her a letter last week, talking about Thanksgiving coming up, Mary [my cousin] and the baby and just seeing her for the holidays. I mean this is all happening so fast! I'm not ready for her to leave, I just started getting really close with her over the past few years since I've been away from VA this just doesn't seem fair.
  
• I had to take off the next couple days to go to VA, my whole family is already there, I wasn't going to go until Sat, but something tells me to just go now. So I'll be on my way in about 6 hours. My brother has already flown in from England, I'm basically the only one left to get there. In my letter I was telling my grandma to just hold on, because I would be there soon...I guess sooner than I thought.
• I am really missing VIBE right now, thankfully though, Aileen has offered to let me 'shadow' her so that I can still be there to help out, I am just as of now an unofficial intern. Today I went back for the first time, everyone was surprised to see me, it was nice helping everyone out again. Just like Sept...damn I miss it. Spring is right around the corner though, so I will be back before I know it. My name is on this month's issue for interns though, so that's cool. [Keyshia Cole cover]
• I've thought a lot about my love life, and realized that no one is going to want to settle down since I can't even stay in one place [this is my excuse at least for now]. I mean if I plan to go home to VA for winter vacation, then Mexico for January, then back to NYC for spring, VA and London for summer, then Rome for the fall...I mean I'm like a nomad...so I've come to the conclusion that I just should relax and go with the flow of things [well it's what I should have been doing this whole time, but now I've just had a little epiphany] so anyways I'm more accepting of my failure with relationships...that's all.
  
• I miss friends, I feel like the older we get, the farther we grow apart....is that the result of bad connections and keeping in touch, or is this how it is supposed to be? Oh well, all the more reason to concentrate on the prize...
• My math teacher is officially a douche-bag. I didn't realize my parents were paying money for me to go to school and not get help when I ask. Tell me if this makes sense and if I am over reacting...I sit in the front row of my Tuesday night class. I never have fallen asleep, I actively participate, I answer most of the questions anyways by volunteering. So the one time I don't understand something, and ask for help [when no one else in the class does because they just don't care] and then I still continue to not understand...he gets mad and frustrated. Saying the same things over and over which I originally never understood in the first place is not going to help me understand either....PLUS when another student and myself stay after to try to continue on trying to figure out the same stuff we've been struggling with the entire class, he has the nerve to rush and leave. The class is technically still in session for another 40 minutes. Don't tell me to think about it some more and maybe I will figure it out by next class....because if I couldn't understand it when you tried to help me, I'm not going to be able to figure it out on my own...smart-one. I swear...idiots.
• It's that time of the month, so I'm extra moody, extra pimply and emotional. great. love it.

ughhh....*sigh* stress

Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch forth Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, And Your right hand will save me.
-Psalm 138:7

I'm an 80%

Today I call...binge.

I had a nice day with my dear friend Tara. We met up in the city, went to eat at a little cafe that we both have been to before called Eros. Had lunch, then went to Starbucks and caught up on everything, talked about my life, her life, men, boys, school, and everything in general. She is a great friend and amazing person, I'm glad I keep in constant contact with her...
My comment for our visit it this: We've come to realize that misery loves company, and because some people are so selfish, we shouldn't let our feelings towards that or anyone hold us back from what makes us happy and what is best for us.

Then I met up with Steph around Time Square area, I went to get my eye brows threaded by this place that does Marielle's. I loved it, and I highly recomend it, it's in the Rockefeller Center under ground. I highly recomend going there. They gave me great shape, and it was super quick.

Then we walked down and went to Andrew's Diner on 34th to get a quick bite before going to see the movie.
We just saw the movie Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married? Note: I think we might have been the youngest people in there, as well as the only non-couple, haha but whatever, that's what friends are for!

My comments: "GREAT, AMAZING", I loved it and so did everyone else. There were so many times that the audience clapped, laughed so hard, and possibly shed a tear.
My favorite part is when the husbands were all talking about the 80/20 Rule [which by the way is SO true]. Basically the rule says; People get 80% of the things they want in their relationship, and the other 20% they see in someone outside the relationship. The 20% can look very tempting and what some don't realize is that when they risk going after that 20% they are likely to lose the 80% they already have. So then basically you've lost the 80% for the 20%.
This movie was very uplifting and spiritual as well. It makes me want to become closer to my friends, closer to God, and truer to myself. I realize that I am an 80% that many men lost for a 20%. It's a shame but the sad truth to many women out there.
I am absolutely in love with this movie, I love all the characters, and the storyline is quite creative.

Go see it!

Being as how it is almost Halloween there were plenty of people already out walking around in costumes tonight...I was kind of jealous, but my time will come Sunday night. Pacha is having a Halloween party, and the ref OR nurse will be on high alert. And then on Wednesday, it's going to be so fun at the parade, I love it. I wish I had themed with my friends to dress up, or with a special someone, but since I have no one, all I have is myself. So we will go out, and have a fabulous time anyways!

ps. Starbucks is great fun too. So far so good.

Cheers to love

It's funny how my opinion of someone can change so drastically. Just when I let my guard down, I should have known someone would be there to trample in and create chaos.

Once again though...I am not going to let this rain on my parade...or should I say the parade of the men in my future...[I know you aren't all the same, even if it is a small percentage of you out there hiding]
Just another name, just another guy, just another day...

No worries, I know there is someone out there for me...perfect, and if not perfect, perfect for me.

Actually I know quite a few men in my life that I am friends with now, that would do the apparently-impossible task of putting up with me and be a good man for me. Although situations are sticky at times, I know who is right, so whether it's one of the good friends of mine or a new one that awaits me out there...I know I just have to be patient.

I refuse to limit the possibilities of where I meet men, I know what settings I prefer and what looks better, but let's not be 'judgemental'. You have to embrace love and friendship with an open heart and and open mind.

So I will just keep listening to my hopelessly romantic love songs, watch my chick flicks, and tune into the drama of everyday life of everyday people just so I can keep my hope alive that romance, chivalry, and an old fashioned gentlemen, is still out there alive and well [if not for me, well for at least someone].

Cheers.

weekender to weekday

I had a great weekend in Manhattan and the Bronx.
It included a pleasant dinner at BBQ's [23rd street of course], a deep conversation that I was completely drawn into, watched my favorite movie The Wood and made fresh hot brownies.
Then on Sunday I woke up traveled back to Manhattan, met up with a good friend [she is so fun, my oldest friend/mentor/sister] I changed her name, we'll call her LM...she is from Northern VA [my hometown area]
So we met up, went to Soho, walked around, ate at a cute little cafe, shopped at Antrhopologie [thanks for the shirt!] then we took a cab to the Roosevelt hotel where she stayed. Then stopped at the bar, took a cab to Central Park, walked around, she is scarred from seeing a man get himself off, then we went to the Pierre Hotel, flirted with the gay conceirge who ended up sending us to Mori Motos for dinner. Took a cab downtown to make our reservation, ate sushi for the first, and last time. [Apparently no one told me that you were only supposed to eat a little your first time, like ease into it...so I was feeling the repercussions at 3am]
Anyways then she dropped me off in a cab and I passed out, but not before sending her pictures that I took of her :-)
Then Monday rolls around. Class kills all day. But I make it, but not before leaving my last class early...the thing is...it's microeconomics...and he's slow.
So anyways then I met up with LM again and we took a cab downtown so she could get her first tattoo! The night ended in a sex shop, and we became quite close during these intimate bonding moments. This is a side that I will never forget! I LOVE IT! hahaha greatness comes at all ages.
She pretty much made me whole semester with her visit. She had meetings today and tomorrow, but she came Sunday, early so she could hang out with me! She is an amazing strong woman and I value her opinion like my own mothers.
p.s. thanks for feeding me! you're the best if you read this!

And now I'm dying from some crazy random cold I caught [and anyone who knows me, knows I am going to be fighting the fact that I should probably get some meds, but I HATE Medicine...] probably from some dirty germ infested railing or door handle. And it's pretty much my midterm week...but um yeah...the week is already half done for me...

I will prevail- I always do.

Gerard Butler adventure

So because of a request that I write about adventures in NYC, I decided to go out for a wander.
My day started simply trudging to FIT...late...to my internship meeting/interview with my counselor, which really consisted of me telling him that I already have everything taken care of between myself and VIBE...so then we ended up just talking about my future school year possibly in Rome or Mexico for Fall 2008.
Then I prepared myself to go downtown for my consultation at L'Oreal Redkin's Institute so they could analyze my hair for a perm, soon I will have cascading waves...sweet. I walked from 31st st. all the way down there to Canal St. My uggies [Uggs] never felt better.
My job at Starbucks starts tomorrow morning...at 7am, and I was in dire need of a black polo or something collared. So I was in Soho and lower Manhattan just walking around slowly but surely making my way back uptown.
I stopped in Washington Square park and took notes of some things that made me laugh in order for me to have something to write about which include these:
[not limited to Washington Square park area BTW]

• a guy that was stalking me with his eyes, and when I looked at him he had these freaky contacts that were basically making his eyes look all white...quite creepy and scary.
• A guy with a mini dacsand dog walked by, and the doggy wouldn't leave me, he had to be dragged away, and another old man commented saying "He loves girls...". And the owner wouldn't shut up about how the color of my Uggs were the same color as his dog, and then went on about how my shoes might be made out of dog, and asked if they were...riiiiiiiight...
• I watched a bunch of old guys play chess, it was cute, it was like right out of the movies.
  
• I just want to say this: Big girls [I didn't say FAT] do not need to be wearing stripes...ESPECIALLY horizontal...FYI, it's just not working out.
• I watched as a guy roller bladed by carrying a girl [over-the-threshold style] along the cobble stoned streets and almost fell a couple times...I could only wait and see...she is still alive as far as I know.
• Most of the day I was surrounded by guys skateboarding...no I'm DEFINATELY not complaining...so cute, but then there were these other guys on some seriously old school bikes riding around. That was kind of hot, I'm not going to lie.
• And when I was people watching from Dunkin Donuts a tranny [transvestite] walked by and I wasn't sure if it was checking me out...or what, but fashionably dressed as a female, but full on beard...just chillin' on his face...yeah, it was funnier to see people pass him and look back, their faces and reactions was what really made me laugh.
  

And finally what you've all been waiting for, unless you were a jerk and skipped the top part of this entry straight to here...

I walked out of Dunkin' Donuts, a little down considering I didn't have any direct contact with anyone to make a really great story. So I start walking towards 8th Ave, ipod on and everything...I'm walking and notice 2 guys walking past, and I make eye contact [I'm calling it an eye-affair] with the taller better looking one. Then something in me clicked...I turned around and started following them...Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo way...Gerry?
So as I'm stalking him secretly I call my mother [shout out to the tarts from me] on her cell, no answer, so I call the house. I tell her that I might very well be following her dream fellow. Of course she starts freaking out, and honestly I'm quite calm and collected, but she starts to stress me out...hard-core.
Ok let me just be the first to say I'm possibly the worst person to recognize celebs on the street. But about 1 year ago I thought I saw him around Columbus Circle, and having told my mother that, I havent been able to live it down.

So anyways...I finally get the guts up to ask his friend, actually my mom was practically threatening me to ask him if it was him. After trying to double check by having my mom list off stats of his. He's got the accent, the height, and the eyes...

Here's the convo for those that are interested:
me: "Umm excuse me but your friend looks really familiar..."
friend: "Oh well yeah..."
Gerry: "Oh hey, yeah, I'm from the movie 300."
Sounding as if I didn't know who he was or what movie that was...pshhhh
me: "Oh yeah really? Gerard Butler, cool. Do you mind, I have to have a picture with you."
Gerry: "Sure no problem, but I'm kind of in a hurry, on an important phone call"
me: "Definitely, thanks so much, my mom's a Tart"
They both chuckle to each other.
Gerry and friend: "Oh yeah...?"

So then I get his friend to take our picture, I thank him tons, and this was our departing...
Gerry: "No problem, tell your Mom I said "Hi"
me: "Oh I definitely will, thanks"
Gerry: "Yeah, don't forget, just tell her I said "hi"


Then I called my mom back, she freaked out, and now I'm pretty much her hero because I have just completed her life. I know I know...I'm a great daughter. haha.

And now I'm home, thinking...That was freakin' crazy...

and the best thing about it, was that he wasn't one of those arrogant, nasty celebs, he was very sweet, nice, and acted just like me.

side comment: he was carrying a NYC Scoop Bag...hmm...style and grace...nice

Just tell me what you like instead...

"That's the thing about needs. Sometimes when you get them met, you don't need them anymore."

So does that mean that everything that we think we actually need is really just a want?

Is that an opening and a peek into how selfish we all might really be, because deep down we are all really just thinking about ourselves, I mean I will be the first to admit that I'm quite selfish when it comes to my own needs, but I like to think of myself as a giving and kind person as well.

Or maybe it's like water...essentially we need it, but once we obtain enough of it, we don't need it for given amount of time...until we need it again.
So how many other things in life do we treat as 'water'?
Our relationships, our families, our educations...all of which are needed at some point, but onces the requirement is satisfied...how many of us toss it to the side to resume the daily life, and how many of us keep it in our pocket because we know and understand that we will need it again...and in no time...before we know it.

Maybe that's what differentiates us...between the wants and needs out of our lives...

Everyone needs love-so how do you go about getting it?
And what type do you seek out? Unconditional, long term [which really could mean temporary], short term, one night??
We all seek out the same similar thing, its just the minor and sometimes obvious details that makes it what it really is.

So even though you or I, might claim you know what you want and need in life...you might have no clue at all.
What you need may just turn out to be a want, or what you want, might need to be placed higher on those priorities because it's really a need.

Hmm, just figure out what you like first, then you can go from there.

to judge or not to judge...

What defines judgment?

I may not like somebody, not because of who they are exactly, but maybe more about what they can or cannot bring to the table. The table in this case is my life.

I don't want to come off as the biggest bitch, but for the people that know me, they know I have no problem expressing how I feel at any given moment.

The way I grew up has made me adapt to the fact that no one can look out for you like your own self. Therefore I will follow up with saying that in this lifetime, the only one given, there are people who will expect you to fail, try to make you fail, and help you to not fail. Majority of this clan is against you, and I'm not preaching a 'the-world-is-out-to-get-you' tune either. I'm simply saying that anyone who isn't on the same level mentally isn't worth wasting time with and then there's nothing they can offer me. And with that I have no disdain for them as a person, it's just that if you can't help me become a better person or influence me with positive vibes or an intellectual conversation then what exactly are you doing with your life?

I also will add that if at any given point I come across people who I can help and elevate them to another level [higher of course] then I will do so as long as I'm welcomed with open arms and little resistance. Because people who don't want help, or want to continue where they are, cannot be worried about on a constant basis. Life is already stressful enough as it is, why carry unnecessary wrinkles on your face... Sure, let's keep in touch, great. But I'm not going to let you or anyone hold me back from becoming the person I plan and know I can be. Some people need the motivation and need the extra push to be who they are, and I am all for that, because that's how you make yourself a better person, it's how you make a better world...by surrounding yourself with positive people. What better way to make the world a better place by spreading the knowledge of success and upping the ante for everyone!

Seriously though, does this label me as a pre-judgmental person?
The thing is, I left VA for many reasons, mainly to expand my opportunities. Many of the people and things I left behind [not forgotten] are stuck in the past, 'living the dream', or simply useless. I'm not trying to put anyone behind or down, but it comes a time where you realize what is available to you, and what is the best for you. Seeing this I knew I had to get away in order to grow. I'm not sitting here saying that I'm better than anyone, because I do believe that everyone has the ability to become anything and beyond. The thing that separates us all is the drive within ourselves to want to make ourselves better people. Even when I come back to visit my home town area I can't help but miss NYC, and it's because in that beautiful city of mine, I'm not restricted to the amount of new people or new things and opportunities I can welcome into my life. When I go home, it's the same people, with the same problems, same situations, same thing different day.
I just feel in a lot of situations, I have a lot riding on myself with what I carry and have accomplished in my life so far, that I just can't risk it getting in trouble with cops, or doing stupid things. I know the people here, and that's why I am the way I am.

I'm not saying I hate anyone, I'm just saying that smart [common sense] people and people who want the best for themselves use the opportunities and take advantage of situations at hand. And that's why I can't help but be drawn to those types of people, there's a certain energy[if you have felt it, then you know what I'm talking about]...because they have the drive and vibe of a positive and not to mention healthy lifestyle.

That's the secret people...surround yourself with what you want to become. Because the only way you can truly change and become a better person [in my opinion, which has worked for me so far] is to see where you are going and what you want for your future, simply put...

you can't move ahead if you keep looking back.

Positive or Negative racism...

I'm beginning to think and agree that sometimes races create racism themselves, even if it isn't intentional.

I went to get Chinese food for my family which involved about 5 different orders [buffet style] on the spot, not even a call in. So obviously I wasn't going to be in a rush and obviously I would be waiting for a while. So everyone is getting their food first, which I'm not complaining, just patiently waiting quietly on the side. I even help this white lady order because she couldn't think of the name of the chicken she wanted [orange chicken] and she was having a hard time communicating with the Asian women whose English was only at a less than decent level. So I was thanked, whatever...blah blah blah
So then I'm still waiting...still not complaining, and she nudges me [the Asian woman] and says "This for you, for long wait" [Now I'm drinking a soda...btw I stopped drinking soda...but now I'm drinking this free soda]
So now when my food comes I also ask how much are fortune cookies, and she proceeds to give me some for free. Even though they clearly say 25 cents.

Now I go home and tell my mom what happened, she laughs because she thinks it's amazing how I can get better treatment than her in places like that. Others would include nail salons, and anything where Asians run it.
[Is it weird that sometimes I feel weird going to nail salons, because I'm pretty much the only Asian as a customer?]

My Asian side kicks in when I do my friend's eye brows, paint their nails, color their hair [even cut], draw out tattoos, or pretty much anything I can do, is playfully designated from my Korean roots. No I'm not offended, apparently my alter ego [Kim Soo He(e)] takes over from time to time.

It's not the first and most likely not the last time that I will or have gotten free things, or special treatment because of either 3 reasons if not all combined:
1. I'm decent looking
2. I'm a female
3. Because I'm Asian

Even in situations where there aren't other Asians involved, I can still get by easily with a lot of things.
Now everything I have just said, can be looked at in a few ways:
1. It's Asian on Asian appreciation
2. Maybe people who aren't Asian feel this is unfair and are looking at it in a racist way
3.Pretty girls get free things
4. It has nothing to do with race and some people are just nice.

All of these are true in their own sense. I just find it funny because whether you choose to view it from one perspective or another, we're constantly building a wall of separation, blindly.

I'm just wondering if, as a society, are we creating for ourselves what we sometimes often fight against...

IF i was interested...

Some people think they are so funny [you know who you are, there's not question about it]
So if someone was interested in someone...that person should just let it be known. Because I mean it's obvious that there is a connection. Unless I'm just completely retarded.
You know what, forget that...'that guy' I was talking about earlier...yeah you, I'm interested. As much as I like this game we are playing...it's cute, but um when it comes down to business, well you know let's be real about things.

ANYWAYS...

This past weekend:

• It's official-Steph is addicted to tatts. Khaliah you made me happy with your PIERCING decisions. I'm glad I can proudly say I was there for both.
  
• Sean saved me in Tempest this past Saturday, a fight broke out, some of us got trapped, and Sean practically scooped me up, Steph [Sean's Steph] scooped Steph [my Steph] out, and Marielle got her head knocked onto the dart board, but never the less everyone made it out okay.
  
• I ended up staying in the BX, and then met my brother [not blood but close enough] for brunch the next day.
  
• John came to visit, sorry Mandy wasn't there, we missed you though, you were there in spirit.

Today I had a test in Microeconomics, wanted to kill myself, but here I am...still alive, not to mention I went all day without eating more than an apple, so the hunger pains were real, never truly experienced that...new sensation, never again.
I went on an interview at Starbucks [welcome back, I know] and I will go for a second interview tomorrow.

I am officially back on schedule for the following:

• my internship for the spring

• my Mexico city trip for the winter

• my plans for studying abroad next fall are being set into motion
  

I'll be going to VA for Wed-Sat/Sun [haven't decided yet] and as for tomorrow night, I look forward to some 'jerk chicken' in the BX accompanied by THE WOOD ["is it supposed to look like that?"]

Now back to the main point, after tomorrow hopefully I'll have a better understanding of where I stand with a certain someone. I have explaining and listening to do.
And it's not that I don't like texting, and even if that was the case...
here is my theory:
people don't like to do a lot of things, but that's what makes it so great when someone can make you want to do something you might not typically really like to do. [i.e. texting.]

So stop saying the same old things, and let's figure out what's REALLY good between us.

p.s. I am not like any other girl, I'm completely different whether you see that now or later, you'll realize it soon enough if you give yourself the chance.
[And no, that was not a conceited moment, it's just that sometimes you have to realize the greatness in yourself and have the confidence in order to find someone who can appreciate you for who you are]
I just know what I'm capable of and it's important for me to decide whether I'm making the right decisions for myself.

-But I mean. you know. -

Apparently I dismissed Mr. Right today...

Apparently today I was informed that I was letting Mr. Right go...

Today it is a BEAUTIFUL day, 80's, little clouds, blue skies, warm breezy day...I go to central park to sun bathe, fine my own little spot, camp out, plug in, and relax. [Super excited since I get to use my bikini I ordered at the end of the summer for the first time!]
So there I am, enjoying Musiq Soulchild serenading to me while basking in the sun when out of nowhere I sense another presence. And to my surprise a man is standing a few feet away from me. I unplug saying 'What?' and the conversation begins. I don't like to be rude, but I have no problem being blunt. So I allow him to speak, after all, he did grow the balls to even approach me in a not-at-all-disrespectful-way.

So then he begins to tell me, almost preach, about how he wanted to read me a 'poetic compliment' So I allowed. Then he goes on to ask me if I am single etc. I wave my hand in the air to show that I am engaged [Thanks to some sort of supernatural feeling I had earlier to bring it (my fake ring) just in case, and just put it on, I was saved]. So he proceeded to inform me that He was Mr. Right and if I knew that he was that I would simply there drop my guy 'like a plague' and ask him to marry me. He then continued to explain to me that the Mr. Right was a man of God and how did I feel about that, and blah blah blah. His name was Carl, very nice man, just trying to get a point across about how women are...and I simply replied if you are Mr. Right why have you kept getting rejected and why are you not married now? And he sort of diverted the answer to that and continued on about what women say and do with their version of Mr. Right, and that He is the REAL Mr. Right. I laughed...he was pleased that at least he had made me laugh.

This conversation lasted about 10-15 minutes
and by that time my neck was starting to cramp from shielding my eyes from the sun and looking up.

So Carl, who works at ABC [completely outfitted in ABC gear btw] asked if he could simply love me as a friend, and exchange numbers. I gave it to him...YEAH RIGHT...no seriously, I told him I didn't feel comfortable giving him my number and he decided to tell me why I was uncomfortable [because I wasn't sure that he was the Mr. Right]. So then he requested to recite his phone number, so he did. Then he asked me to recite it back, OF COURSE I DIDN'T REMEMBER IT, and he got kind of flustered because I wasn't jumping to copy it down, so he recited it again, and corrected my mistakes. He left me saying I should think about him, call him, and after it was quite clear he wasn't going to be successful with me he switched the topic to trying to get me a job for ABC in advertising.

I thanked him for the 'intellectual and spiritual' conversation and he blessed me and said...

"That's what all women say to a compliment to the guy they don't think is Mr. Right. "

And so I laughed again, and laid back down.
---

So wouldn't that be so sad if he was Mr. Right...
an aging mid-40's white male...hmm
I don't think so, but I certainly hope not either...

Carl- I hope you find your Ms. Right sometime soon, so you can stop approaching young females half naked while they are 'engaged'.

'Entertaining'

The past few weekends have seemed like a blur.

Friday night I went to the movies with a new friend...let's not jinx it. He's cool, he's got good standings so far...
The weekend with Mandy was unbelievably fun, and this weekend Steph was in Manhattan hanging out with me pretty much the whole time.
Besides having an 'entertaining' time at Tempest watching other drunk girls make-out and dance on each other till they couldn't hold themselves up anymore and landed like earthquakes on the wood ground. Like I said...'entertaining'.
[Special shout out: Steph my little tat tat tatted up one...!]

• I just want to point out that I free hand drew her tat, and she ended up getting it and everyone is loving it! Just another one of my Asian specialties...

I enjoyed a surprise visit from my new friend as well...that was pretty cute, I'll admit.
Then Sunday she came took me out to lunch at Triple Crown cuz she's BALLIN' now, then we went to Starbucks got some free drinks, walked to the Dog Run park on the west side sat in there WITHOUT dogs, but playing with the other ones. [there was this little girl, and she was like..."They don't even have dogs"] Sometimes little girls need to just shut up and mind their business.
ANYWAYS it was fun, then we walked by the Lamborghini and Porsche dealership and got a little excited...uhhh but anyways. Then after out little walk we went back, watched the premiere of The Desperate Housewives, and that was it.
Slept like a baby because the night before I was up till 7am...[Haven't done that since high school...oh man, that takes me back]
Ew old moment.

And today I officially started my healthier lifestyle [PARKER FOOD JOURNAL, as a blog now as well!]. I got my workouts from Derek [thank you!]
Turned in an application to Starbucks, now that I will have LOADS of free time on my hands. So we'll see what happens. Classes are already half over seeing as how tomorrow is Tuesday...THANK YOU LORD.
I also talked to my Daddy earlier, so that was nice.

This week I should be meeting up with another few friends for a few lunch social gatherings. So I'm looking forward to all of those. Lots of things to continue to look forward to.

I've been getting dragged into watching The Hills...thanks to my roommate, I'm not complaining, just funny that I have never watched any of those types of shows [i.e. Laguna Beach, Real World, etc.] This as well has been quite...'entertaining'.

pick me up

Ok...stress. BUT I'M OKAY!

So today was pretty much one of maybe 2 of the best days that I have ever had at VIBE until after this really fun party my beloved boss told me my paperwork from school was no good...therefore I can't work there until the Spring semester. I felt really bad for her having to tell me, because she was about to cry, and then I cried, and then we hugged and just talked about how much it blows. I know she tried everything in her power to hide me under the table and keep me. This just sucks because I actually LOVED working there, and they can't pay me so I can't even stay just to help...and they appreciated everything I did there, and I was actually GREAT at the jobs I did, creativity and logically. DAMN-IT. So then I told my fellow interns, which it sucked too because we all had an amazing time at the party and the day before together hanging out and bonding. At least it feels good that they will miss me. Everyone was in shock...I hate my school, they're douche-bags. But at least my boss was all about me FOR SURE coming back in the spring time, even though I told her I was planning on being a photo intern for the downstairs editorial department, and she said that was cool, but if for some reason it didn't work out, then she would definitely save me a permanent spot there int he marketing department. So I guess it's reassuring that I have my internship back in a few months, but it just sucks, because I loved going there, and I loved being there. And today I had to many great things that I planned for an individual project and everyone loved it, and I was getting all excited about it and so was everyone else...it was the energy...but oh well. Postponed till 2008.

So now that I'm done venting...it's okay, you live and you learn and its not a completely lost cause, I WILL BE BACK VIBE! [As soon as I get back from Mexico!]

So I just had to vent about that though, now I have to work on getting a job...save money for Mexico, and yeah, this should be interesting. I'm still boycotting the evil retail empire...been there done that, never again. stress.

So it's like I'm starting a lot of stuff over again. My thing with my bloke kind of faded away, but Derder has my back on my dieting and workout plan, so I'm not worried about that, he looks good enough that I will DEF take tips from him. Oh Derder, this is a shout out to you...I can't want to see you when you have a break from OK, miss you like crazy, miss the only other SANE person in the world.

Amanda just called me a SERIAL DATER...should I be offended? Well, I'm not, because you'll never meet the right guy unless you get out there and start making decisions. Not a serial dater...let's call myself a...social butterfly. haha that's more glamorous.

I'm liking it.


Oh don't worry though my head it still up and I'm STILL smiling! So HA!


This is my first friend at VIBE, LUMBARD! miss you all though! xoxo

Try not to get lost on this one.

Let's see...

So, I went home, came back all in the same day on Friday. My doc appointment went well. Mandy was here this weekend...and what a wonderful weekend with her it was. [Hope you had as much fun as I did lovie]
We checked out 49 Grove downtown, a real cute trendy lounge, finally got there after our two cabs were pretty much racing each other. V.i.P treatment of course. and then met some professional basketball players...my girls are wild. I mingled with a guy who works in music, he actually knows my boss [apparently], small world huh.

I'm excited for the new Tila Tequila reality dating show to come on, simply because it's the first one with guys AND girls on it, 'no homo', I just think it will be really entertaining...just when you thought TV was getting lame because we thought they were running out of ideas...you creative directors never let us down!

Went to the festival down in Little Italy, got some free desserts delivered to us via from the cute guys handling all the food.
Did a little shopping, and when I say little, I mean minimum. Mandy left, Monday morning...it's Tuesday now, so all my classes are over for the week.
School just isn't the same without my Mandy. Actually it kind of sucks big time. But that just means I have more time to focus on ME!

Back to VIBE tomorrow. :-)
Also shout out to J LO real quick, You're the bomb, and you always have a special place in my heart, ain't that funny...? Congrats for getting preggers with TWINS! Your clock was ticking for a good minute...it's about time! Oh yeah also I'll admit...I want to see the the new movie you've produced, so good luck with that!

My bloke has had a crazy weekend, he was meant to fly back to England to fulfill obligations with his contract for ADIDAS but apparently his VISA expired so he has to wait to fly out on Thursday, so lucky for me, I'll be enjoying a nice dinner tomorrow night out in Brooklyn [again].

Sometimes I wish I had been a star on the Disney channel, then I could have just gotten lots of money young, BUT on the negative side, I probably would have turned into a big whore...so I guess I'm better off working my way up...boo, oh well. I'll live another day like this to laugh at those that didn't. Still love you Lindsey, but Britney...someone needs to take those kids.

My roommate and I have been cooking for each other, it's really cute. We have little meals together, she is a little chef, I never knew I could cook pretty well myself.

Still contemplating about cutting my hair Victoria Beckham style...still unsure.

I've made a promise to myself recently, which is to keep in better contact with my family. It's not good enough now, so I definitely am making a clear cut effort to become more involved. I called my sister today and told her to do me the favor of telling me what's going on in her life, and to call me more, and I'll do the same. I know since my brother is away overseas that with him it may be harder but I have no excuse for my sister. This plan of action is called GUARDIAN, for those who know why, well you know. But I love my family to death,
and besides...family first, always.

p.s. I made some bomb-ass guacamole the other day, I mean it was fresh!

Organic Cranberries

Jena 6 anyone?
So today I proudly donned all black in protest to FREE THE JENA 6...so here's to that...
All I will say about that is...I know for many people, they'd like to believe that racism is or has been in its diminishing phases but anyone who really truly believes that has most likely never faced discrimination like the rest of us. And for those of us who have I can only hope it hasn't turned them cold towards any culture or type of person. Our world is growing, and as we grow we need to grow together, not apart. Division between our communities and children will only drive us as a society straight down. Let's not dwell on what should have been done or being bitter from the past, because by now I'm sure we all know what's right and what's wrong by moral standards. We need to move forward with what we have, by healing, and becoming stronger. It's a sad cold world in reality, so its best that we all try to make it the best for what it really is by living and breathing as positively as possible.

That means stop the hate.


Hm...So tomorrow/early this morning I will be returning to VA for a doc. appt. then return shortly after back to NYC. Who would have known I was such a...bus-setter, at least I don't have to deal with jet-lag, whatever.

Anyways so once I get back I hope to be welcomed back by not only Mandy, BUT also a new way of living...all written out and described in detail. [That's my bloke once again showing me a new light] So supposedly I will be given a detailed workout plan accompanied with a great new diet! As all 'diets' are, I know they wont work temporarily, and it has to be a complete change in the actual lifestyle itself...he warned me of my mental processing will change as well, and that all levels of my being will be boosted, energy, mood, confidence [like I need more of that...right Andy?], and just my simple way of seeing things. This highly excites me...I'm going to need lots of discipline though...but he's willing to help me help myself [how great is that?!].
It's going to be lots of hard work but I'm ready and willing.

And so since these will be my last few days of food freedom, I met my friends from good 'ol Camp Friendship at Applebees in Time Square and ate some potato skins...yeah I know...But hey special occasion...1. Last days of freedom like I said and 2. it's RORY and KIM, my mates from camp, I mean seriously...these guys I actually DID like...even if they sent me to the wrong Applebees and I had to walk and find the one they spoke of after almost falling into the subway hole...ha. So anyways I hope they enjoy their visit to my sweet city, which as far as I've heard they are. Cheers!


So I spent the evening riding on the 1/A/C train...with my bloke playing some...umm games I guess we'll call it that. We acted like we didn't know each other on the train then we'd just speak and confuse the shit out of people. You should have seen some of the faces from the men and women...absolutely priceless! I swear we woke up this one woman...try it. Consider this a new favorite past time...to study and of course laugh at people's responses so a complete change in situations. If you can even imagine...you should try it with a friend. I'd like to get a video cam involved.

Speaking of studying people...the Italian called today while I was at my internship, said my number came up on his phone and he wasn't sure if I called him...right, sure...HELL NO I DIDN'T CALL YOU! Goodness gracious.

SO apparently here's another fun game we'll be playing once I change my lifestyle...its called...Rich & Famous[I named it myself]...it will involve going down to NoHo area and whatnot and gravitating all the beautiful rich people towards us. This will be an ongoing experiment...I'll fill you in once I lose 10 lbs or so, which will occur after the revamping of my lifestyle and let you know that game is going...not my idea by the way, but sounds like it could be interesting.

Ok...trashy moment- I cannot wait for I LOVE New York Season 2 to begin...I know what you're thinking, BUT it's just so funny, like Flava Flav...it's ridiculously hilarious to me. I can't help it, there are some things I have to indulge in, and trashy reality TV falls in that category, at least I'm not in denial right?

Oh and I hope Desperate Housewives doesn't suck this season...plus looking somewhat forward to The Private Practice...it made the calender mark up, so...but then again so did the premier of I LOVE New York...so I guess I'll just shut up.

Here's another thought [that I am overly excited about]. I have officially viewed and sorted all my classes I need to take till I will be done with school. And what I've worked out is...taking full semesters of course, but as you know, I'm planning to travel to Mexico City this winter to fill my Spanish requirement, then a full spring semester that I'll finish off interning at VIBE with as well. Then travel to England to do an internship with British Communications through the school for a credit, then come back, be in VA...blah blah blah...then go back to England for a semester abroad...then coming back and finishing out in the spring in NYC. This is music to my ears, I'm not even saying it and I'm getting goosebumps! There's nothing like putting things on paper and seeing the actual progress. Love it!

[Hey, then I really can upgrade to a jet-setter]

Thoughts on 2nd Floor.

Thank goodness I only have classes two days, I'm already half way done!

I talked to my brother today all the way in merry old England, we aren't exactly the picture perfect communicating family, so it was a rare moment, that was nice since his work schedule is hectic and random as shit.

My best girlfriend, Mandy (who left me to go upstate and live with the cows) is coming on Friday! It's going to be amazing, even though I'll be traveling once again for a trip to the doc back in NoVA that same day. But she's worth it, FIT, and the city itself hasn't been the same without her. I no longer have 24-7 views of the twinkies (her two pet pugs who are rather...on the large side) on the fridge. My bloke (who by the way is just as amazing as ever) will be taking a trip back to England for a few weeks, so she is just in time for some perfect girl time! Who knows what we'll do, the two of us will be back in the city, back loose on the streets! ha ha! She makes me crazy sometimes, but it's going to be great fun.

By the way...I'm so not looking forward to yet ANOTHER 4 hour+ trip to NoVA...great, just great. Some things just need to be taken care of, and I suppose my health is a pretty high priority.

Speaking of my health, there is a new book on my desk that is a high priority for my reading list (which by the way, I'm not big on reading, anyone who knows me knows this). Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin, a New York Times Bestseller, is hilariously, laugh-out-loud book. Basically, I'm not sure if I will be able to give up ALL of my eating habits (my love for meat and REAL dairy) and become a vegetarian let alone a full out Vegan...but it has definitely opened my eyes and made me take a step back on what's really healthy and what's not. And I fully recommend this book for everyone, not just females, because it does actually have pertinent information about things that everyone should probably know.

FYI I'm in the process of finishing up what's left in my fridge before I go food shopping for my new healthier lifestyle of eating and exercising (my bloke is going to write up some tips and whatnot on a personalized exercise and diet plan/routine). I'm really excited, trying not to stuff my face too fast so I can hop onto the veggie and fruit wagon (Did you see that mom?!). I've been learning so much about nutrition and useful facts (thanks to my bloke ;-) who has a double major one being health and nutrition). All of which I plan to get going the latest by October, which will be just in time for my premier at Christmas and the New Year.

p.s. ANDY (my brother) and I will be beginning a food diary/journal to keep up and help each other (yes, I did tell him to buy the book, because yes, it's THAT amazing) on the healthier lifestyle.

Oh and also while I was home my dear friend Ms. Miles* (I've known her throughout high school, babysitting both her daughters. She has treated me like family and I see her as a big sister/mother) And whenever we get together it's like two girlfriends talking and updating each other! I love it because she is an amazing strong woman who I can confide in about everything and respect everything she says, and know that she sees me the same way. Anyways when I was visiting VA I went over before I left, and caught her up on everything. And she filled me in as well. Summary- basically I have encouraged her to pursue online dating. Which I think is GREAT, considering that, like I have mentioned before, I'm all for that! She deserves happiness so hopefully she will have some better luck with more options...like online.

BY THE WAY...I mean seriously, online dating...people need to stop bashing it or being so skeptical. We are living in a time where everything is done online, or can be. So why not dating, sure I realize it can be dangerous...if you're an idiot about it.

But here is my theory- There are probably just as many creeps in the bars and clubs I'll go to in NYC when I go out as when I'm online.

So I mean, yeah people can lie about things, but thats online and off-line, that's a risk in reality you have to take. I mean I've met tons of people online and I'm still friends with many of them. I think anyone who trash talks online dating is just scared to try new things (which is fine if you are, just give the bitching a rest). Sure, if you are shy and reserved, then yeah, online dating probably isn't for you. But for the rest of us, shut the hell up, because lots of people find happiness, and where they find it shouldn't matter. Obviously you're not happy with your life if you are so concerned and engrossed in the lives of people trying to find some for themselves.
SO GET OVER IT